Is there any way to get an ex husband off your case?

Every time I turn around it's something else. He's digging in her medical records, he calls her school to get her attendance record, won't pay child support until it's ordered, won't get my daughter a military ID card so she can use her FREE medical benefits. Sometimes I just want to runaway to another country cause living on the opposite end of the country is not far enough away! I've done everything I could to make this as easy as possible. I'm tired of being the nice guy and paying for the lawyers fees to have a written contract for HIM to see his daughter. I'm tired of saying yes to him every time he wants to see her. I'm tired of getting craped on. I go out of my way to make it all as easy as possible but for some reason he is always acting as if I'm the bad guy. I keep telling my finance that if I keep being nice maybe one day he'll see it. Truth be told, I don't think it'll happen. What would you do in this situation cause all i want to do now is tell him to kiss off! Hangfire- sorry, when you hit spell check it changes it on ya from fiance to finance Darkstar, my new man is beside me 100% He thinks I need to start being the witch that my ex thinks I am. He is tired of me letting him walk all over me. About the ex though, he has moved on in a way, he got remarried and now has 3 step kids.. He is just still mad at me cause he is in the military and when I left him I had a protection of abuse put on him cause that night he came home from the bar drunk and decided it would be fun to pick a fight with me an then when I was walking out of the room he decided to take a big bite out of my back. The military police came and documented it all. He was ordered to stay away but decided to still show up the next day outside the house driving around the parking lot so the Military police pulled him over, called his boss, and removed him. He ended up getting a stripe take away I'm not sure if it was due to that or when he had cheated on me with a co worker... the girl he was training and babysat for me sometimes.

Public Comments

1. well it seems like you will have to kill him...
2. Cut ties and cut losses except the court ordered child support. It's worth it for the peace of mind. You can get medical benefits that are better than CHAMPUS through a job of your own and without all the BS. The military ID card isn't really worth all the aggravation either.
3. OK so tell him to kiss off and if that doesn't work you could always grab him by his collar and pimp slap him.
4. I always wonder when women call their 'fiance' their 'finance'. Is that what they call a Freudian slip? Sorry - guys are just @ssholes. Eventually he will get bored.
5. If it is his daughter then he has every right to know those things about her. So what exactly is the problem?
6. follow court orders get a lawier that will back you up.
7. dont give in anymore. stop being the "nice guy". the only one you should care about is your child. if he's 'acting like you're the bad guy' you might as well become one...
8. Maybe go back to the lawyer and clarify what he can and can't do, what his obligations are in detail and where to draw the line. I think its not clear to him what he's supposed to do and how to do them in the same manner you don't know where to draw the line and tell him to bugger off. Clarify custodial rights and clarify his obligations and what are the consequences if he does not do them without being ordered to do so. also, ask your lawyer if you can move to another state or city without notifying him about the move because he's a stalker.
9. He's in the military, right? Then I don't see why it's so hard to get child support from him. Call his commander and let him/her know that he's not paying up. You can only be treated like a doormat if you allow people to walk on you. Stop bending over backwards for this guy. If he wants anything changed in your current agreement then DEMAND that he go to a lawyer and deal with it himself. Get the visitation agreement in black and white and STICK TO IT. I know EXACTLY what you're dealing with because I'm in the same boat, except that my ex was perfectly happy to get my kiddos military IDs. Best of luck to you, sweetie. :)
10. I know a couple guys out in Jersey, dark haired, olive skinned, they wear a lot of leather...If it were me I'd give them a call; they owe me a favour. Capisce?
11. Sometimes being nice to people doesn't pay off and it sounds like hes a looser,Your daughter is the one that will suffer,I would not pay another penny to see an attorney so that he will see your daughter,let him do that.If anything get a court order so he will have to get her an Id card to get medical treatment.One day she will see him for what he really is,I know because I went through this with my daughter.Just always remember to try and never say anything bad about him in front of her,she will respect you for that later in life..good luck
12. Stop victimizing yourself and BURN HIM! Take absolutely all steps necessary to sever all direct contact immediately. Seek local women's support group. Arrange visitation rights through a third party (your family member/best friend/ etc..) Change phone, address, job, etc. Register new car in third party's name, change your own name officially and so on...
13. 1. Call IG on your soon to be ex-. a. children need medical (get it forced through the military), b. child support can be inforced prior to divorce (IG will handle this for you as well, they will set up an allotment out of ex- pay). 2. Just say no to his demands, have him help pay for the divorce. (when saying "NO", be reasonable with decisions, your children have a right to see their father). 3. Set reasonable boundaries (guidelines), the ex- may not like them, but stick to them.
14. Oh sweetheart I am in the same boat. No you can't get him off your back. I have paid for the divorce made ourown child support agreement, made his son available to him whenever he wants even droped him off and picked him up so my ex could see his son. Well until you tell him no it won't stop. It'll never stop completely but I told my ex I will no longer bend over backwards for him, I won't any longer be his door matt.I wish he'd go away and leave us alone but that won't happen as long as he wants to see his son. He still says I'm the bad guy but ya know what I don't care. Believe me if it wasn't for our son I would've told him to kick rocks a while ago. I know it sucks but you can't change it now all you can do is stand up for yourself, don't be walked on.
15. These are worst situations...child custody, and they cause so much pain and aggravation to both parents of a child. So what can you do? You know his MO. So, offer him up a copy of her medical records and have the school send a copy of her attendance records to him. If he is in the military, contact his commander and let them know he is not paying his child support regularly, and make sure that you put perimeters around visitation rights and make it binding with the court along with the child support payments, because if he is behind the IRS can get the money for you, and he cannot get a passport to leave the country, so this might encourage him to get financial right with you.
16. If you're divorced and have court orders, then advise him ONLY ONCE, that if he doesnt live up to those orders, he's in contempt of court. And you WILL pursue the issue. End of story. You're no longer his wife. Stop living the roll.
17. Get a restraning order on his crazy butt girl. Don't let him destroy your happiness because he mad cause you moved on. Don't take no stuff. fight back get tuff. It's over and that's that. What is your new man like because if he was any kind of man he take a stand with you. If he don't stand beside you in this little problem your having then you need a new man. Someone that will scare the piss out of your old one. you better make you some cop friends and make sure they cute. HEY only way to deal with a nut is let the cops have him. He only doing this to you because you let him. I would blow that whisle loud and clear. don't be scared girl! Blow it and injoy your new life. You need to check your new man because if he is afaid to stand up to your old man. Thank what it would be like if it was some stranger you don't know bothing you. would he act like he's acting know. Look deep before you leap OK. You better test him because something might not be right. Sounds to me like your new man might be a bit scared girl and that's a problem. In danger he won't be protecting you you would be protecting him. You better make sure he ain't no bitch because if he is your old man might sniff it in him that's why he bothing the both of you. Girl all that your old man taking you though what happen you cheat on him or something. there is alway a root problem. a man is not going to be this presistance unless he is truly in pain. What happen?
18. You take him back to court, you set up regular visitation. You do not worry about , the "free" stuff. If you work you provide insurance for your daughter, or once your married, her step father will. Life will be easier for you once, you stop fighting him. Tell him point blank your moving on with your life, he needs to also. Say, you have this time with your daughter, do it. DO not bother me. Provide him with medical records, school records, let him know events , do the parent conference with him ... but do not let him be apart of your life. You had a child with this man, he will always be in your life, somewhere, even when your daughter gets married and has children...you will share grandchildren with this man. So, relax, enjoy life... stop getting so mad, or you might find yourself, ruining your new relationship.
19. I think i seen the problem in your last few lines. My (finance ) a big clue to your problem. Since you have another in your life you will pay for it. He will not make it easy for you in any way even if it hurts the child. He is very selfish so stop calling him and get on with your life. Contact his military branch and see if they can help with the ID. Keep on the child support till they get sick of you. He would have total access to medical records if he got the ID. so don't play his game. You are letting him win if he is getting to you.
20. Ignore him. Stop making things easy for him. Stop pushing things just leave him be.