Is this a normal feeling?
Both of my parents never went/graduated from college. I am the first in my family to go away to college and then on to medical school. While my family was not poor, when I was younger I remember my family barely staying above water from paycheck to paycheck. I'm much better off than my parents are now. It kinda makes me very unhappy to an extent, almost like I'm rubbing it in their face (even though I help them out with their finances now). I am not sure, but sometimes I feel as though I resent them for all of the stress I experienced as a child, worrying about whether we can afford to fix a problem with the home or by food. Is it normal to feel this way?
Public Comments
- Maybe you are just experiencing nostalgia of the times when you looked at other kids and wished you had what they had. Now that you are better off, concentrate on the positive things in life and let bygones be bygones. Whenever you feel resentment for your parents of any kind, just tell yourself they did whatever they could for you. Now that you are successful and helping them out, you are really doing what a child should - take care of parents in their old age. They must be really proud of you, and thankful they have a child like you. Spend more time with them whenever you can, if not you will regret it when they are gone. Don't keep asking yourself whether it's normal or not normal, remember - when the resentment comes up, focus on something else and put the negative feelings aside.
- Yes it's normal. But understand this. Your grandparents may not have had the money to send your parents to college. And in fact, if they did go to college and saw that they could not handle it, then don't hate them for it. They did what was best for them and you did what was best for you. Since you now help them out, you can be sure that one day, someone else will help you out. Above all else try to understand that regardless of the choices they made in thier youths they did love you and did all in their power (at least leagally) to provide a better life for you. It may not have been the life you wanted, but you were sure better off than about two thirds of the world's population.
- I can understand where you are coming from - you feel ashamed to come from a poor background, and while you are excelling in life your parents are probably still not quite making it the way they dreamed of when they were young. The thing is, your parents most likely are very proud of you, and want you to exceed. As a mom, I hope that my daughter exceeds all expectations and has a much better life than I ever had. It would show me honor and respect for her to do her best and succeed. As a child of parents that have fought to scrape through from paycheck to paycheck, I do not believe that it is right to be ashamed of that. Poverty is like a big mountain with slippery sides. It is very hard to climb that mountain, and there are always more setbacks that you don't even know about that they somehow surmounted. Overcoming hardship is indicative of strength, courage, & other qualities found in leaders and heroes. I recommend taking a new outlook on your situation. Your parents did not fail: they raised you, and you succeeded. By doing your best, offering help and continuing to love & respect them, you honor their efforts to give you a better life. Do not resent them or look on them as creatures that have crawled out from under a rock; honor your parents and be proud that their sacrifices have succeeded in you.
- What they missed out they will be very happy to see your dream come true. Trust me if you really want to please them. then my suggestion to you is graduate with honours at med school.
