Too Early If No Date Set??.?
My boyfriend of 2 and 1/2 years is financing my 3ctw engagement ring right now! Im so excited because as long as we've known each other we've planned to marry. And now it's going to be official. Well at least I think...he keeps mentioning he wants to wed in 2009. Im fine with waiting to plan my dream wedding BUTTTTTTTTTT theres more... WE and mostly HE wants A BABY ASAP!!!!!!! HELLLLLLLPPPPPPP....the only reason Im stressin is becuz I dont believe in having a baby out of wed-lock (would make me uncomfortable) want to give birth for his bday next yr sep 08 and marry in 09? This picture dont look to good any response will help. Thank U and God Bless "Also just need to know if I should even start planning, like ordering stuff? Been doing research for years, I know what I want but I keep reading I need to reserve this and down pay that..." Too early if no date set??
Public Comments
- I wouldn't even worry about buying stuff for a wedding until you get the baby situation figured out.
- this should definately be discussed with your boyfriend. do not under any circumstance bring a baby into this world unless both parties are 100% in agreement that they want this baby. there should be no reason why a decision as important as this should be rushed at all. although you have a lovely 3ct ring waiting for you, look past that and think future forward.. .cause as pretty as that ring may look on your finger, that can always be taken off and returned.. and a baby can';t this issue should be settled before you do any planning at all. one step at a time. settle the baby issue first, pick a date then start planning!!
- Don't compromise on the baby thing. It may become too hard to plan a wedding with a newborn. You'll become consumed with being a mother and the wedding will most likely have to be postponed even further. So make it clear to your soon to be fiancee... Have fun with the wedding planning :)
- Whether you decide to get married this year, 09 or 2020 the big kicker here is the baby. Babies are wonderful, I had a little surprise package just over a year ago and while she is the best thing in my life it is incredibly difficult. We have not gone out together alone since she has come. There are job issues, which are easy to talk about now, but if you have to kiss your weekends good bye for that part time 2nd job its def not easy. When you two decide to start a family and everyone is on board it will be a wonderful expirience even with all the sleep deprivation. But one of the main reasons for having a child after marriage is the commitment between the parents. Not that divorces are impossible, but if you have made the legal and spiritual commitment to each other you will probably have a stronger more secure foundation for both the baby and you. If something happens and Mr. Perfect has a change of heart, then what? If he leaves you with the baby can you handle that 2nd (possible 3rd) job. If he sticks around and wants the baby will you be able to live with only having your child a couple nights a week. And remember these choices will be for at least the next 20 years of your life. Which will make you how old?? Think about it, the ring is fabulous, the wedding will be so fun to plan for, but at the end of the day if it doesn't work out you can walk away and lead your seperate lives. If you have a child together, like it or not, you will be in each others lives for the rest of yours... PS I started planning 2 years out for my wedding, every one laughed but the wedding was fabulous and I had such a great time. Just wait on the dress because styles change so much.
- Sounds like you 2 should slow down...enjoy one thing at a time. I'm sure its exciting to think about a wedding and having babies with the person you love, but each stage is big and important (not to mention stressful) in its own right. If you're planning a wedding for 2009 you have plenty of time to shop around and look for details, etc. Worry about a baby later, besides you want to have some alone time with just you and your new husband.....babies are wonderful but they DO change everything and it is NOT an easy job.
- 1.) DO NOT plan to have a baby out of wedlock, especially if you do plan on eventually marrying. So many couples screw themselves up by doing the whole thing backwards. Why would you PLAN to do this? Especially when you are not comfortable with it. Sorry to say, but it sounds like your "man" does not have his priorities or head on straight. He wants to have a baby but cannot yet afford your wedding ring? How does he expect to pay for the wedding after the baby is born? What if he goes AWOL? Do you really want to risk being a single mom on welfare? He wants a BABY for his birthday?! Wtf? Honestly, is your mom happy you want to marry this guy? Are you truly happy? 2.) I think you know what you need to do....take some time out and really think about this. Many girls who are unwed with babies can only wish they had the second chance to think it through. You can still avoid making a mistake. This guy sounds like he only cares about HIS needs and not YOURS as a couple. He has some growing up to do, and is likely not ready for marriage or fatherhood any time soon. Hold off on the wedding planning for now. While some couples do manage to turn out fine having a baby first, why risk it? Good luck!
